A badass dog name, huh? Let me guess. You’ve got yourself a dog. But you don’t want your dog to be just any dog. You want other dogs to whimper in submission when your dog walks by. You want people to walk a little faster as they pass you on the sidewalk.
You want a badass dog name.
A Name That’s Right… But Not Necessarily For You!
Before you go about picking a dog name, what you really have to ask yourself is “is this name right for my dog?” Let’s face it. You can pick a name just to amuse yourself and your friends. Or because you think it’s cool. Or because you’ve always wanted a dog called Warlord Stormrage, Destroyer of Worlds, and now seems as good a time as any (though even if your dog really is a Warlord etc., etc., I highly recommend you choose something with fewer syllables).
Anyway, the point is that, before you go for a badass dog name, you need to observe your dog’s personality a bit. If you wanted to name your dog George or Jill, then sure, that name can handle pretty much whatever personality your dog has. But you don’t want a meek dog, whose only wish is to lick and cuddle you, named Killer. Just think about the trauma that your dog would suffer in doggy daycare! All the other dogs snickering and making fun of him…
“Hey Killer,” they’d say, “kill anyone lately?”
(dogs are admittedly not very good at witty verbal insults)
So go commune with your dog awhile, and then come back. Just bookmark me so I don’t get lost, ‘k?
How to Choose a Badass Dog Name
Communing complete? If you’re back here then I assume you and your dog have agreed — possibly with full, written consent — that he or she is suited to a badass name. So how do you choose one? There are a lot of options, and you need to make the absolutely perfect choice.
There isn’t really a secret trick to this. You just have to go through names until you find one that sticks. Sorry ‘bout that. But since I can’t give you a method, I can at least give you, in alphabetical order, a list of the top 15 most badass dog names around.
Conjuring up images of smoke and fire, Ash is a name as primal as a raging flame.
If you want to emphasize your dog’s animal nature — its fangs, its claws, the way it salivates as it bares its teeth and snarls — give Beast some consideration.
A versatile name, Blaze evokes streaking through the air, a roaring fire, or both: a streak of red and yellow burning its way across the sky.
You know what Blitz means, right? It’s German for lightening. So a) your dog is named lightning, and b) your dog’s name is German. I think you can’t lose with those two.
Decimus is a clear reference to decimation — destruction on a massive scale. If your dog is named after something that can destroy a city, I would say it has a pretty badass dog name.
This sounds like a 1920’s gangster. You know, the really dangerous one, with one bad eye, who you get sent to if you’re late on your payments. Conjuring that image, Fisheye could make people take a second look.
Anything that can’t be dominated is pretty badass. That’s just a fact of life. Ergo, any dog named Indominus is badass. By the transitive property. Thanks, math!
Jagger sounds like jagged, jagged sounds like the edge of a particularly nasty knife, and that knife sounds like it belongs to someone I really wouldn’t want to mess with. Totally a badass dog name.
Madness and Mayhem! In addition to having a dog with a badass name, this one lets you make a terrible pun every time someone around you gets angry! I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing…
The cold chill of an angry ghost. The screaming and the terror of a haunted basement. The Black Ops connection. Yeah, Specter’s a pretty badass dog name.
An oldie, but a goodie. Spike is… well, it’s like a Spike. That’s really it.
Oh, ho ho! You thought I was joking about this one, didn’t you? Well, take out the “Warlord” and the “Destroyer of Worlds.” Now, can’t you the dark clouds gathering, billowing, rain pouring down in fury, lightning lashing out with mad anger. Come on. This is totally a badass dog name. Or baby name, for that matter, if anyone’s expecting.
The scythe itself, a bladed weapon used by none other than the Grim Reaper, is pretty scary. Take out the “c,” though, and it transforms into the living embodiment of that power. Just make sure you train Sythe not to bite people, or she might accidentally rip out their souls.
BOOM! God of Thunder and Lightning, boys and girls! Slayer of Jotuns, and now star of many Marvel movies. Thor is one badass dog name that any badass dog is sure to love.
OK, in the numeric sense, it’s a bit odd, but imagine it in a movie line. “It’s time to take you down… to zero,” in this husky, manly voice, and then he cuts the elevator’s cords with a katana, causing it to plunge downwards and explode massively.
I’ve thought about this way too much.
Plus, anyone who’s played Borderlands 2 will know that any dog with this name will start barking in haiku. So hey. Bonus.